Princes of the Apocalypse

From the desk of the Reverend Dr. Kilkax of Argonnessen, Esq

To my esteemed readers and wonderful fans the world over:

Fuck me, this has been a hell of a weird few days. So after Ryu uses his weird force push thing to get rid of Helenrae we’re left with this Quarbo guy and we needed to get some info out of him. So Tinuviel, along with myself and Anora stuck around to question him while Team Freckles went skulking around looking for any loot we might have missed

So we’re interrogating Quarbo and he isn’t talking because he’s a crazy person. So we attempted to persuade him. And by “persuade”, I mean threaten. And by “threaten”, I mean we cut his fingers off. And by “we”, I mean Tinuviel. I was there mostly for moral support (threats) and Anora was watching peacefully from the sidelines. Honestly, I was impressed at her ability to not hurl

As the tortur- I mean, interrogation went on, he finally started to talk, but it wasn’t really what we wanted to hear. Tinuviel learned that her family was slaughtered for… no reason. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Out of frustration and our curiosity, we basically killed him, but then I brought him back from the brink. I then told him we could do it all day because we’re psychopaths. As all that was going on, I could swear I heard Roy and Sandro awkwardly avoid the whole situation.

Once they actually did come back in, they showed us all the loot they had picked up. It was a decent amount and we split it all up later, but they also found friendship bracelets. Not to be one-upped, Tinuviel and I each grabbed a souvenir pinky from Quarbo and make necklaces out of them. Anora gave a side-eye. I have a feeling she slightly disapproves of us wearing bits of someone else as a larf. Eventually, we heard some ruckus downstairs and Tinuviel lost her patience so she put my dagger through Quarbo’s eye directly into his frontal lobe. Ryo threw up everywhere

We all rushed downstairs and found Bob right where he left him. Thob was ecstatic. They shared a long tearful reunion that was absolutely beautiful. Then Tinuviel promptly accidentally killed Bob when fuckin’ Helenrae attacked. I grabbed his sword to present later. It wasn’t his body, but it was all we could gather what with Helenrae attacking and also Jerry hulking toward us and also Sandro almost dying horribly, as is tradition. And since Helenrae was crazy and flippin’ off walls and shit, we all barely survived. But we managed to take everyone down, with Anora delivering the final blow to Jerry. We breathed a sigh of relief and set up camp at Mt. Gosling before heading to Summit Hall to deliver Thob back. We let Sandro rest because my god, I’m surprised the dude still has functioning internal organs. The rest of us took turns at the watch

I still think about what Ryo and I talked about. I’m probably gonna pull him aside soon and ask about it, because based on how he’s been acting he has no intention of coming clean yet. And I’m still not entirely sure what Anora thinks of us. I assume she spent her watch thinking about that. But she hadn’t run in the morning, so maybe she thinks there’s safety in numbers

When I woke up for my watch, Tinuviel was crying. Something I’ve never seen her do, nor did I think she was capable of doing. I don’t blame her though. To want answers so bad and then be met with what she was told? Horrible. We had a brief talk before I left her back to her own reflecting. And then I heard Thob sobbing. I felt horrible. If I hadn’t been such an asshole at Summit Hall, Bob would still be alive. I don’t like having people die on my watch. I gave Thob Bob’s sword as a keepsake and we briefly exchanged words before he fell asleep

I don’t want to talk about Summit Hall. We returned Thob. We were banished. It’s my fault. The end

We then set out to Beliard where we came upon a choice. We could either head down towards Sharn, stopping by in Womford to follow a lead on that Dwarven genealogy book I picked up (worth a pretty penny each, according to Bruntheldar) or we could further investigate that there tower we saw with the birds and the knights and such. We elected to head toward Womford, but not before staying the night in Beliard. Some drinks were had and at some point Senya kissed Ryo. But it wasn’t like a hot, passionate steamy kiss like she would’ve given me, it was more of a “aw, aren’t you cute, you’re like a brother to me” kiss. He claims otherwise but like, pfft whatever

So we start heading down towards Womford and then a caravan pulls up like “We’re going to a festival! There’s big bonfires in the shape of a man but it’s not Burning Man!” and we were all like “These seem like people we can trust” so we were like, fuck it, let’s go! And then everyone got high and then everyone learned that we were riding with a bunch of crazy cult members and we were all like “Oh”

We’ve just gotten to the festival and I think for the time being we’re going to try to keep a low profile. Because we’ve been so good at it in the past, you know?

Well, I’ve been writing in this journal for like 10 minutes, which means Ryo’s probably gotten into some trouble, so I should go see what he’s gotten himself into

The Right Honorable Kilkax of Argonnessen



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